The day I interviewed people...

Saturday is going to be such a long day. I have to interview the applicants who want to help out with interview weeks which I am organising for my college - I think I am going to play the bad cop. This secret was created by using some gold wrappers from chocolate bars which my parents sent me from New York over a year ago (but which only arrived in the post about a month ago). I also used a black biro to write the secret. I hope you like this one, it certainly has a complicated back story to it...but I won't bore you with the details. Enjoy!

The day I stopped caring...

Here is my secret for today. Busy, busy busy...no time to stop and talk, sorry. This secret was created by using some brown paper, a leaf from our garden, and two skeletal leaves (one from paperchase and one from Alice). Hopefully I will have more time to talk tomorrow. Enjoy!

The day I didn't sleep...

I have had so little sleep that I can barely function. I really hate having to rush to finish an essay but sometimes (and more often than not with me) it is essential to work through the night. This secret was created by using an array of coloured fineliners and some white card. Ordering coloured pens makes me really happy so you can't imagine how much fun this was to create. Now I have to go to my tutorial, enjoy!

I day I posted my 100th secret...

Here is my very special 100th secret! I will keep this short as there is a long celebratory post to follow. This secret was created by using some brightly coloured paper, a silver gel pen, a pink fineliner and some very cool mushroom stickers.

As part of the celebration of reaching 100 secrets I have collected the favourite secrets of other people along with some words explaining a little bit about why each secret was chosen. I think the most significant part for me of reading why other people have chosen each secret is the feeling that I am not alone in the secrets I reveal on AI. The aspect of postsecret that I have long admired is the ease with which I find secrets which I instantly connect to. Although my secrets are very personal to me, what I have always aimed for is a certain level of ambiguity which makes them easy to relate to. I believe that from the way each person speaks about their chosen secret that I may have, on some level, achieved the accessibility that is such an integral part of postsecret. This, more than anything, really makes the whole process worthwhile for me - so thank you for sharing.


Here are your favourite secrets:

H - So I’m not sure that it is allowed but I have selected not one but two of my favourite AI’s. I simply couldn’t choose between them...

I have selected this AI as one of my top two because not only do I whole-heartedly agree with the message behind it, I also LOVE the design. The texture created in the background and the ‘roughness’ of the printed letters, in my mind, only serve to emphasise the meaning of the message. The bold ragged letters seem to highlight the raw emotion being conveyed making it one of my all-time favourites.

This AI is the other of my two favourites. I think the design is beautiful (even more so since seeing the real-life version). I particularly like the way that the words seem to be suspended from threads that perhaps suggests that although the under-tone to the messages is essentially “Fuck You” there is a sense of fragility to this sentiment. Love you, love your work and will always support you.



M - My favourite secret constantly changes but at this moment it is "Getting Older Scares Me" because it relates to where I am now. The future is the great unknown - will I be happy, will I achieve my goals, when will I die? There are no comforting definites to cling on to; we are left with nothing but the certainty of uncertainty. Sometimes I worry that I worry too much about the future. Maybe I don't worry enough.

A - I’m going to have to start this with the caveat that this isn’t actually my favourite – not just because I’m too indecisive and averse to committing myself on such important questions, but because my favourite genuinely depends on my mood and what’s happening in my life at the time. However, this is a pretty strong contender for the title. I see postsecret (and AI) as being about discovering how your own experiences and feelings are there in the secrets which others reveal, and this one chimed with me instantly. I think about a lot of people a lot of the time, probably far more than I should – and I like the way this secret has an almost guilty tone to it. I also especially like the design. Black and white is possibly the best combination ever, and I love how simple it is, yet strangely complicated: at first I couldn’t tell if the creatures were birds or bats, and it was hard to say which way they’re flying. They seem to evoke the randomness and uncontrollability of thought perfectly. Both the words and the image made me stop and think, and now this secret is sometimes the subject of my thoughts itself.


P - I absolutely love this secret, not just because of how amazing it looks - the colours, textures etc - but because this is something that I think a lot of people can empathize with, yet not be able to express themselves. I think coming to terms with something in such a beautiful and creative way is extremely commendable and while I know that other secrets probably were harder to admit, I think this secret expresses that in a really quite stunning way.

A - My favourite secret is the one with the pressed flowers on it, it says 'I am fragile'. I think this one is really pretty and I like how each flower is perfectly placed and how the red writing stands out but not too much so it makes the picture kind of 'soft'. Pressed flowers are fragile and delicate so I like how you have used them for your secret. The style of this secret is victorian/edwardian which I really like as victorian things are also old and delicate which is good for your secret about being fragile aswell as the pressed flowers. The tea stained background gives the flowers a subtle tone and it really matches with the colours in the flowers. Altogether I think this secret is really really pretty and it is my favourite.

E- Of all the AIs, this is my favourite. The delicate flowers put together with the sharp red letters make it really striking and a nice contrast. I like the washed out yellow background too, it’s cool how it’s peeking through the flowers, blending it all together. Also the planning involved makes me think this secret deserves to be the best. Although I do have to slightly disagree with the message, as you do own a sufficiently lethal punch, which I have felt on many an occasion. I am fragile? I think it’s more ‘I am deadly’. Peace Out x


A - There were so many secrets I nearly chose for this, but recently this subject has been on my mind a lot. I really agree with this; and although I want to do certain things first, I want to be a father SO much, I can't wait. And although I see how stressed out my Dad can get and know the kind of freedoms I might lose; I can't wait! Perhaps It's not as strong a feeling as a maternal one, but it's there all the same and the sooner, the better! (maybe in 4 or 5 years though..) (but definitely before I'm 25 I hope!). Also, I like the way you made this one, much as I really like like your gold leaf ones (they really hit the spot) I made something in a similar style recently and still have glitter EVERYWHERE. How manly! Amelia, or Mills, I really admire you for doing this, for the time and effort you put into it, and the testicles to put things up that may offend and may expose things about you that you would never normally show. SO GOOD SHOW OLD BEAN!


MJ - This is my favourite secret of Amelia's because it applies to me as well. I also go to Oxford, and there are times when I feel like it's too hard, like I don't deserve to be here and like there's going to be nothing for me when I finish. Even though I've got friends to help me get through the bad times, when you're up until 4am and your lecturers don't seem to understand and you haven't got enough money to last the term, sometimes the anonymity of the Internet helps. 'Amelia Is...' is one of those websites that cheers me up every time I read it because it reminds me I'm not alone and that everyone has secrets.

M - This is my absolute favourite because for me it expresses hope and fear at the same time. We are so busy planning our futures thinking that it will be exactly as we want it to be... But what if it turns out compeltely different? Would that be such a bad thing? Personally, I can't wait to find out - I am quite in for a surprise, keeps life exciting. Thanks for sharing.

A - I think you already know my favourite secret is the very first one you made. I guess it's because I connect to this one the most as I know the whole story behind it. Of course I also connect to other certain secrets but this one in particular has always drawn me in. We spent so long sitting in NB5 with cups of tea and biscuits talking about how "I should've done Geography" and conjuring up ways to leave our courses without feeling like failures. However, I don't think either of us was ever 100% serious about it. I could NEVER leave Oxford because I met you and all these other amazing people who I love more than anything in the world. Last year was so hectic and stressful at times but I always knew that I could count on you or Alice or Marja or all of our other friends to be there and make it all ok. I look back on it and think about all the fun (and slightly odd) times we had. I could never regret coming to Oxford.
Then the exams came and we all panicked over revision. The results arrived and I felt as if I should just hide in a tiny little corner of the world, undisturbed. However, you were there for me too even though we were all at home for the vac. That long talk on facebook made so much difference after all that had happened and it really summed up the year for me. No matter what, I knew that I could always count on someone to be there and make it better. I think we both went through similar things last year in different ways. However, our conclusion was (and still is) the same; no more negativity. I love our new house and being a second year.

There doesn’t seem to be a much more appropriate way to conclude this section about favourite secrets of other people than right back at the beginning where I started all those months ago. I am very grateful to all of you who have told me about your favourite secret and, as I do with every post, revealed a small part of yourselves in doing so. The response I get from the people who read AI is what encourages me to continue to make secrets each day and I truly hope this never weakens. So all that is left for me to tell you in my 100th secret post is which of my secrets so far is my own favourite…

I have chosen this secret as my favourite because it gives me a small indication that I will be able to maintain and strengthen this project as I continue to work towards my goal of a year of secrets. The fact that I have managed to create 100 secrets still surprises me as I not only considered myself to be an honest person but I also thought I had very few secrets to actually share. However, AI has taught me that secrets can come in many different forms - it is not simply about revealing something painful that we try to keep hidden, it is instead about saying the things which you don't always have the courage to admit to other people, or even yourself, whether they be good or bad. This secret also gives me hope that I will be able to, someday, reveal to you and others the secrets which I find most difficult to commit to paper. Taking ownership of the secrets I expose on AI is the hardest part of the whole process. However, I think it is also the aspect of this project which has made me stronger and, hopefully, brave enough to reveal the hardest secrets of all.

Thank you for following my life in secrets so far and I hope you are looking forward to the next 100 secrets as much as I am. Enjoy!

The day I woke up in Oxford...

I am back in Oxford. It feels nice to be back with friends but going home was definitely what I needed...if only for a day. This is my secret for tomorrow - it was created by using some tissue paper that came with my Lulu bag and some silver letters. I have totally forgotten to show you my Lulu, but I think this secret accurately shows how much I love it. Until tomorrow, enjoy!

The day I woke up at home...

I am at home, it feels to weird to escape the bubble that is Oxford and come home. I kind of start to forget that home really exists during term time. It is really nice to be back and to see my cats (I miss them so much when I am away). This is my secret for Monday, I hope you like it. It was created by using different coloured paper, a blue fineliner, a silver gel pen and some blue glitter. Looking forward to getting back to work etc.? neither am I. Speak to you tomorrow, enjoy!

The day I cleaned my room...

Good morning. Here are my favourite secrets from www.postsecret.blogspot.com today - Frank has also posted some secrets from the Sunday where he was unable to put them up. This first secret is about something which often crosses my mind. I have been looking after the same children since I was 13 and this summer I looked after them for the whole day a couple of times a week. We have seen each other grow up and I would love to come back in a few years when they are teenagers and see the kind of people they have become. The second secret is the one I have chosen as my background on my laptop, it is also something that I could really easily relate to. I love all the little quirky, weird and sometimes crazy things about my friends...it is what makes them great, and why I appreciate them so much. It also makes our friendship much easier, because I am far from perfect too. My parents will be arriving in about an hour so I have been rushing around making my room look presentable (i.e less studenty). I still cannot decide whether to go home for a bit...I am absolutely rubbish at making decisions so I guess I will just see how I feel. Go check out postsecret, and let me know which is your favourite secret from today. For now though, enjoy!

The day I saw my parents...

I am just about to run off and have a shower, but before I do let me show you my secret for Sunday. My parents are coming to Oxford as it was my birthday on Wednesday - so that should be nice. It does, however, mean I really need to sort my room out...that is probably a good thing though. I am in two minds whether to leave Oxford with them and go home for a couple of days. Anyway, this secret was created by using some beautiful William Morris wrapping paper which I bought from a National Trust house about a year ago. The paper was up in my room for ages but has been replaced by my old postcards of Oxford. I used a black marker pen and a silver gel pen to write on the paper. I hope you like it and are looking forward to postsecret in a few hours. Enjoy

The day I ate Dutch food...

This is my secret for today. I have been able to sleep all morning and now I should probably get on with the work I have to do. This secret was created by using some blue paper, gold sequin stars, pearlescent glue and some sparkly letter stickers. I hope you like it, looking forward to postsecret tomorrow. Enjoy!

The day I made some flags...

Here is a lovely guest secret for you to admire. This was created by someone who is extremely talented and I absolutely love it. I am not quite sure how it was created - although the little heart in the middle is sparkly - so I will have to ask at some point and update you on that. Thank you so much to the sender, I hope everyone else likes it as much as I do. Enjoy!

The day I didn't go to the library...

Here is my secret for today - I hope you like it. Unfortunately you can't really see the background design (the eiffel tower) because it is a really pale purple colour. Anyway, it just means I will have to show you it irl at some point. This afternoon I am having a tea party for my birthday (it was on Wednesday) which should be really fun. This secret was created by using a postcard and a biro - simple but I hope that doesn't stop it from being beautiful. I also have a very exciting guest secret to post in a bit, so you can look forward to that. For now, enjoy!

The day it was late...

Here is my secret for today - sorry it is a little bit later than usual but I had birthday celebrations followed by essay crisis and then a tutorial. In between that I have just been catching up on some much needed sleep. This secret was created by using some wrapping paper and a purple pen (the wrapping paper has tiny little raised silver dots...you can't really tell but it is very cool). Now I am off to rediscover the joys of excel spreadsheets - as an English student I didn't really think that would ever happen. Until I speak to you again, enjoy!

The day I turned 20...

It is official, I am 20 years old. Here is a very special secret to celebrate me growing older - I hope you like it. This AI was created by splitting the background of the secret into two sections with some white and black paper. I then used a black fineliner and a white gel pen to create the design. As part of this special 20th birthday celebration post I have decided that I should tell you 20 interesting things about me (I know, as if you didn't already know enough about me):


1. I drink tea with almost every meal.
2. I want seven children.
3. I could easily live without meat for the rest of my life but I am not a vegetarian.
4. I name almost every inanimate object I own.
5. My favourite colour is green.
6. I pretty much only wear dresses.
7. If I was an animal I would almost certainly be a cat.
8. I think Katie Price is amazing.
9. My feet are a size 4 (sometimes a 3).
10. I love having freckles.
11. My favourite alcoholic drink is probably (really cheap) cider.
12. I need my feet to be cold before I can go to sleep.
13. I love trashy TV.
14. Poetry is one of the few things that can make me cry.
15. I can’t think of many things that are better than ordering things by colour.
16. My favourite place in the world is my bed.
17. My celebrity crush is Alan Davies.
18. I tell people my favourite film is ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ but I am fairly certain it is something like ‘Bride Wars’.
19. I would really love to go blonde, however bad it would look.
20. Turning 20 is just as scary as it seems.

So, all that is left for me to say is thank you to all of you who read AI and like what I am doing - it really means a lot to me. Have a great day (and hopefully I will too), enjoy!

The day before...

This is my secret for tomorrow, I hope you like it. I want to leave this essay and go out instead but it must be finished...grr. I have had quite a nice day - making dinner for my housemates and meeting with a tutor. This secret was created by using a lovely postcard I bought a few days ago, some black card, a white gel pen and a white marker pen (who knew such a thing existed - hello Oxford art shop and goodbye student loan). This will probably be my last post as a teenager, I will post again on Wednesday (my birthday - arghhh). Until then, enjoy!

The day I spoke to Alice...

Here is my secret for tomorrow...I hope you like it. One of the things I miss most about being away from home is just being able to jump in my car and drive off somewhere. This has nothing to do with being lazy (...well, sometimes it does), it has much more to do with the freedom of being able to get away whenever you want to. I especially love driving at night. I really miss my car - she is called the Reverend Glenda. I created this secret by using some super cool wrapping paper (the headlights are actually reflective - omb) and a grey fineliner. I didn't do my washing - such a failure. Anyway, hope the Monday morning feeling isn't too bad. Speak to you tomorrow, enjoy!

The day I started again...

Here is my favourite postsecret for the week - go and have a look at http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/. This secret stood out to me as something that I should probably remind myself of from time to time. I absolutely love making secrets for you all to read and I really enjoy the feedback I get. I also find it is liberating to reveal a secret about myself which I find hard to accept. However, sometimes I just find it too difficult to admit one of my secrets and I am very hard on myself for not being honest enough with myself and with others. Hopefully having this secret as my background for a week will teach me that some secrets don't need to be shared. I hope you have found your own favourite postsecret from this week. Have a relaxing Sunday and I will post my AI for Monday a little bit later on. Enjoy!

The day I actually washed my clothes...

...So I forgot to do my washing. Hopefully tomorrow proves to be a more fruitful day in terms of both work and domesticity. I have, however, been on a secret making mission (hopefully buying me some time this week for work and other important things). This secret was created by using a lovely postcard, some different coloured fineliners, and some crazy glitter glue which I bought. I hope you like this secret - look forward to postsecret in a few hours. Enjoy!

The day I washed my clothes...

So here is the guest secret I promised you. I think this secret is something we can all relate to (especially now that I am almost twenty - arghhh). I hope you like it as much as I do. This secret was created by using a postcard and a red biro - it was also anonymously pidged to me, although I think I might have worked out who it is from. I love receiving guest secrets so if any of you have a desire to create something for me then just let me know. Oh and thank you to the creator of this lovely secret, enjoy!

The day I fixed things...

Evening all - here is my secret for Saturday. Tonight I am going to a bonfire in a place called Port Meadow. I am so excited, although it sounds weird I think there is something really magical about a roaring fire. I spent ages making this secret and I am really pleased with the results - I hope you like it too. To create this secret I cut a postcard into teeny tiny little squares and glued them back into a different order. I then used some orange paper and a burnt orange fineliner to do the rest. I really love the bluey/grey colour and the orange together. Ten points if you can tell me what the picture was originally (it should be super easy). Have a fantastic friday evening - guest secret to follow (yay). Enjoy!

The day I saw JC...

I am a little bit ill - seriously hoping I haven't caught the deadly swine. I am going to meet up with the head of admissions tomorrow to discuss my co-organisation of interview weeks this year. Sounds exciting, huh? Anyway, this secret was created by using a rather old photo (20 years old next week...), a gold gel pen and a black fineliner. I really love this photo so this secret has to be a new favourite of mine. Wish me luck for tomorrow, enjoy!

The day I met my maker...

This is my secret for today, I hope you like it. I am really tired this evening so sorry if this post makes no sense. As a positive I do have amazing friends and even more amazing chocolate pudding. This secret was created by using the wrapper from a Galaxy chocolate bar and a purple fineliner. The puzzle pieces are my own handiwork. Have a nice day tomorrow, enjoy!

The day I needed caffeine...

A rather exciting post today - mostly based around the hand held sewing machine I was gifted by my friend Manasi. It will forever remain on my list of the most exciting things I own. I have taken a photo of it so you can all see how amazing it is - it has also been used as one of the main components of my secret for tomorrow. In conclusion, I love it. So, as a bit of an anticlimactic downturn in this post, this secret was created by using: my lovely hand held sewing machine (her name is Claudia), some left over material from covering my pin board and a white gel pen. Oh, and I drew the letters with my hands. I hope you like this secret, enjoy!

The day I stopped...

Here is my secret for Tuesday, I hope you like it. I created this secret by tea staining some card and using a brown fineliner to write the message across it. I then burnt the edges and mounted it on some black card. Feel free to comment, I always love reading your reponses to my secrets and take pleasure in responding when and if I can. I will speak to you tomorrow, enjoy!

The day it all started...

No postsecret today - crazy. I really, really want the new postsecret book (it looks amazing). I have had quite a nice day: signing freshers up for interviews, sorting things and a randomly quiet house party. This secret was created by using some chainmail which came off my friend's bag on Friday. I also used a black marker pen and some tipex - oh, and a truck load of glue. Enjoy!

The day I prepared...

No postsecret yet, how rubbish. I am sure it will be a really good one when it does materialise though. So here are a few more photos of the decorative touches I have added to my new room. The top picture is the ugly red pin board which I covered with some pretty material. The other two pictures are the butterflies which I made before I left home. Enjoy!

The day I locked my door...

Here is my secret for tomorrow. I will be attempting to get freshers to get involved with interview week and be protecting my room from party people tomorrow. This secret was created by using some blue paper, a blue fineliner and some awesome stickers that I bought last week. Have a relaxing Suday, postsecret in a few hours. Enjoy!

The day I moved my furniture...

I spent the day organising my room and moving my furniture around. I am pretty pleased with the way it looks now - so above are a few photos of the new layout.

The day I ordered things...

Here is my secret for Saturday. I created this AI by using a postcard and a black biro. I am really looking forward to showing you photos of my redecorated room when it is finished - it is a bit of a mess at the moment. Time for bed now though...I am completely exhausted from the combination of stressful events which have occurred in the past week. Enjoy!

The day I Feng Shui'd...

This is my lovely new room. It is room 11 in a 16 room house in Summertown, Oxford. The room is pretty spacious and I have already been adding my own little creative touches as you can see in the third picture I have carefully placed some nice cushions on the bed and some candles on the shelves. I have also bought a throw to cover the red chair and I have adorned it with some floral cushions which I made over the summer. So far I am pretty pleased with the minor improvements, but I plan to do much more to it...so watch this space. Enjoy!

The day I refreshed myself...

Here is my secret for tomorrow - as always, I hope you like it. There are so many exciting things I want to tell you all about. The most exciting of all being that on arrival at College I found a load of old post (some posted over a year ago) in my pidge - one of these envelopes contained a card sent for my 19th Birthday, this time last year, and a £10. My new found wealth and the discovery that Summertown is actually amazing has put me in a rather good mood. I am going to post some pictures of my new room in a few minutes...I plan to redecorate so I will post some after shots too. This secret was created by using some brown parcel paper, black acrylic paint, the plastic ends of cotton reels and a red fineliner. I think this effect works quite well, I hope you agree - oh, and I thought I would get your brain working my spreading out the words. Speak to you tomorrow, enjoy!

The day it all became real...

I am officially back in Oxford - scary but true. I also have the internet which is nothing short of a miracle. The most exciting news of all though is that I have my Lulu bag! (pictures to follow). I created this AI by using a postcard which I purchased from Paperchase a couple of days ago, a white gel pen and a pink fineliner. I really love this secret but it, like many others, looks much cooler in reality. This is my 100th post - I am really pleased that I have been able to keep the blog up for such a long time and that so many lovely people are reading and responding to it. As this is my 100th post but not my 100th secret I will save a special post until then. Anyway, I hope you like it. Enjoy!

The day I moved in...

Arghh packing drives me crazy. Here is my secret for tomorrow - it is ridiculously early but I am going to have a hectic day and a half coming up so it is better that I show you it now. I created this secret by using an image of some flying bats found in a magazine (I think it was ASOS) and a pinky red fineliner. This blog should really be titled 'My life in boxes' not secrets at this moment in time. Oh, and my last meal at home you ask: a bowl of boiled cabbage (yummy yum yum, seriously - I once ate a whole cabbage). Until tomorrow, enjoy!