Monday, 22 November 2010

The day I forgot...

Here is my latest secret, I hope you like it. A number of things changed when I left Oxford - most of them for the better. I have completely got my life back on track and I feel happier now than I have done for a long time. I know the path I am following now is the right one but I can't help feeling as though I have let a number of people down, including my parents. I feel that now, more than ever, I have to prove myself and to constantly defend my choice to other people. It is not simply enough for me to know that I made the right decision because not everyone else understands that. I would love for my parents to be as proud of me as they were when I was accepted to Oxford, but I don't think they will be. I would love for it to be less obvious that the decisions I've made are a disappointment to them, but it isn't. I would love for it not to matter, but it does. More than anything I would love for this secret not to be true of how I feel most of the time, but it is. I suppose only time will serve as a way to heal the past, and the choices I make now play a large role in that.

1 comment:

  1. Amelia... how I realte to this! I agree with you. i should not matter, but it does. I have been a disappointment to my loved ones in so many ways. It's taken me a long time to start being comfortable with myself. I have learned that it's important to be proud of myself. Everything else comes later...


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