The day I found the words...

I actually thought for a second I might have written this secret when I saw it, then I realised that was insane. It does, however, represent exactly how I feel a lot of the time - go and check out the rest of the secrets at http://www.postsecret.com/. It is so hard to know if you have made the right choices in life. I constantly worry that I might have chosen the wrong path, that it won't make me happy, that there is something else I would be better suited to. At the moment it really isn't making me happy, in fact I think it has made me pretty miserable for the past few weeks. I know there are other things going on in my life which are making me feel this way too, but I can't help feeling sometimes that I have made the wrong choices. Can you relate to this secret too? and which is your favourite from the Sunday secrets? enjoy!

The day I worried about you...

This is my secret for Sunday. I created it by using various coloured pens, gold letters, and a ruler. Something about it reminds me slightly of the 'Coupling' credits - if you have never seen 'Coupling' then you should, it is a really funny tv programme. Enjoy!

The day I wanted more...

This is my secret for Saturday, I hope you like it. I am back at home again - all the travelling and doctors is starting to get a bit tiring. I created this secret by using the inside of an envelope (there is something so great about the different patterns inside envelopes), some silver letters and an envelope transfer. I love these little transfers, I bought some a while ago and I haven't used them all yet. Time for bed now, enjoy!

The day I drove back...

This is my secret for Friday, I hope you like it. Another one created on my sewing machine with a few scraps of fabric and ribbon. I have used fabric glue again (my new favourite thing) to write my secret. I am going home again today and then off to Southampton tomorrow for my cousin's birthday party. I absolutely love driving so hopefully the drive home will be relaxing. Any plans for the weekend? Enjoy!

The day before I went back...

I did some sewing when I went home and created a few secrets for you. This AI was made by sewing together some green fabric and different ribbons. I also used some new fabric glue that I bought recently - you will definitely be seeing more of it. Thank you for all the kind comments about my blood test yesterday, it is not much fun being ill and that made me feel better. I can't believe it is almost the weekend already. Have a nice Thursday evening, what are you up to? enjoy!

The day I knew...

This is my secret for Wednesday, I hope you like it. I used a board marker, some green glue and green sequin letters to create this secret. I am back in Oxford now but I plan to head back home on Friday and then to Southampton on Saturday. I have a small battle scar to show for my trip to the nurse this morning, I don't remember taking blood being so painful. It is really nice to have a couple of new followers - welcome to my blog. Enjoy!

The day I went to see the doctor again...

This is my secret for today, I hope you like it. I created this AI by using the left over pipe cleaners from my caterpillar costume, a gold pen and some black card. I have had to come home again to see the doctor and will probably be staying another day because they want to do some blood tests. Luckily needles don't freak me out, although I have been told I can't give blood anymore as last time I both fainted and vomited in my college canteen - what a lovely story for you. They won't be taking very much of my blood anyway so I should be fine. How has your week been so far? Enjoy!

The day I collected my things...

Happy Monday morning. This is my secret for today, I created it by using a silver marker, some bits from magazines and silver letters. For me combinations of colours is kind of like putting different coloured clothes together for everyone else (I say that because I am surrounded by so many fashion blogs). Using different colours in order to make something beautiful is one of my favourite things to do. Do you understand what I am rambling about? probably not...enjoy!

The day I watched it again...

This secret was created partly in response to a guest secret I had a few weeks ago. I created it by using some different coloured pens and gold letter stickers. I am going home tomorrow to pick up the various things I left there last week. I will only be home for a few days but it will definitely be nice to get a chance to relax if only for 24 hours. I hope you have had a great weekend, enjoy!

The day I plotted...

Here is my favourite secret from postsecret this week - go and pick your own at www.postsecret.blogspot.com. Whilst this secret doesn't directly relate to my life at the moment I can relate to the feeling of having problems and not being able to speak to people about them. I find it difficult to confide in people (I know that sounds crazy considering the format of my blog, but it is true) so when I do find someone I can trust I will be very open with them. Sometimes people can't deal with your problems and there is nothing more hurtful than having someone you trust not want to be there for you. I think the worst part is that you know you would always, whatever happens, be there for them. Can you relate to this secret too? Enjoy!

The day it all made sense...

My secret for Saturday. I used some blue glue and a copper coloured marker pen to create this secret. I hope you are enjoying your weekend, look forward to postsecret tomorrow. Enjoy!

The day I presented...

This secret was such a cathartic one to create - nothing more satisfying than voicing your annoyance about something or someone. I used some red glue and some red sequin letters to create this AI. Are there people in your life who this secret could relate to? There are plenty in mine. Enjoy!

The day I dropped the ball...

Sorry for being an absolutely rubbish blogger recently. Irrespective of how much I enjoy blogging when I don't have enough time or energy I really can't maintain once a day posts. Anyway, I created this secret by using some different coloured glues and silver letter stickers. This secret refers to so many different aspects of my life right now, what does it mean to you? Enjoy!

The day I attempted something...

So if you can't read this it says: 'I wish I didn't have so many secrets about you'. I created this AI by cutting shapes out of a black piece of card which I then coloured gold. I then glued sections of images from magazines to a piece of card underneath and used a white pen to write my secret. It seems strange now that a blog which is about speaking my secrets aloud has caused me to have new ones. I find it painful to look back at some of the secrets I have previously shared on here, because they either represent something which is no longer true to me or they represent something that is still true and hard to accept. Can you relate to this secret? Enjoy!

The day I went to the doctor...

My secret for Tuesday - I used some silver and purple pens over a piece of black card to create the background. I will upload my secret for today soon. Hopefully I can get back into the swing of posting on time soon and thi9ngs will probably calm down in a few weeks too. Enjoy!

The day nothing happened...

Here is my secret from Monday - I created it by using some different coloured glue and a white pen. Sorry for the delay, enjoy!

The day we went driving...

This is my secret for Sunday - secrets for Monday and Tuesday to follow. I used some purple and gold ink, a small sponge, an image from a magazine and some gold letter stickers to create this AI. I come from a family where we don't really say I love you - it is sort of an unspoken thing. My Dad is totally anti-vaneltine's day and I completely agree - when I am single. When you are single on valentine's day it is ten times more obvious how coupled up everyone else is. I would, obviously, feel completely different if I was the one who was coupled. How did you spend V day this year? Enjoy!

The day there was no valentine...

This is my favourite postsecret from the selection this week at www.postsecret.blogspot.com. Aside from being completely beautiful I was instantly drawn to this secret because of the message. I love how some secrets can unlock in you a truth that you didn't even know existed. I have stayed in contact, to varying degrees, with each of my exes. I have had 4 what you might call semi-serious boyfriends (longer than a couple of months, shorter than a year) and each one represents to me a different stage in my life. I often fool myself into thinking I miss them - in actual fact I think what I miss is the person I was when I was with them or the person they were with me. I am glad to have moved on, hopefully there is some other great relationship waiting for me. Which was your favourite postsecret? Enjoy!

The day I atoned...

On Saturday I was sleeping in and seeing my cousin. This secret was created by using some green and gold ink and a kebab skewer, I then just added some green letter stickers. I hope you all had great weekends. Enjoy!

The day I came back to it...

Sorry for being completely MIA since Friday. I went home for the weekend and although it was nice to see my family it has made me feel incredibly homesick. I don't want to trouble you with all of my problems, but basically blogging took a bit of a backseat for a few days. I created this AI by using some silver and blue inks. I owe a lot to my family and friends and I really don't think I would have come this far without them, does this secret resonate the same feelings with you? Enjoy!

The day I went back to Esher...

I am going home today and once I get this essay out the way I will be able to fully relax. I cannot wait to see my cats, drive my car, sleep in my own bed and drink tea with my parents. I know that all sounds very mundane, and it probably is, but you don't realise how much you miss the little things until they are taken away. This is a beautiful guest secret created for me by Alice. This secret expresses something I am sure we are all guilty of from time to time - wishing we could have the carefree feelings of being a child again. Thank you for creating this secret and sharing it with us. I will probably posr my own secret much later on today when I have braved central London transport and managed to make it home safely. Have a great weekend, enjoy!

The day it all happened...

My scanner, as always, has screwed a little with this image - needless to say we are having words. Anyway the secret on this AI says 'I hope it will get easier' and it was created by using a variety of pens. It is much clearer in reality. If I am being completely honest I always disappoint myself a little bit when I have to rush a secret. I know that I will look back on this one and wish I had spent more time on it, oh well I guess it is just all part of the process. Enjoy!

The day my computer was being a bitch...

Here is the guest secret I promised you yesterday evening. Another lovely secret created as part of my 200th secret celebration. I really love this, it is so beautiful and there is so much honesty in the secret. It is also something I can really relate to - sometimes however hard it is to have someone in your life it is harder not to have them in it. I have spent all evening reading articles online and my eyes are become a little hazy, work persists though. Thank you to the owner of this guest secret for creating it and sharing something with us all. Have a great night, enjoy!

The day I dressed up...

This is my secret for Wednesday, I hope you like it. I created this AI by quilling some paper (I love this technique, you can make such pretty things from it) and adding some gold letter stickers. I don't really know how to explain this secret to you - and I am not sure I really want to just yet. The past few days have been tough, I feel completely drained - physically and emotionally. I am so glad I am going home this weekend, it couldn't have come at a better time. I hope your week is going better than mine. A little thing that has been helping me through is wearing something pretty everyday, it is strange how such a small thing like clothes (small in my world) can lift your mood. If I am wearing something lovely then I tend to feel a little bit more lovely than I would otherwise. Advice from me to you? I'm not sure, but it works for me. Enjoy!

The day I missed out...

Here is my secret for today. I created this one by using different pens and glues on some blue paper. It unintentionally looks like feathers, it is even more beautiful when you aren't expecting it I think. I am glad to be caught up with blogging, I always feel really guilty when I fail to post each day - not always because of the readers but more for myself. Anyway I have a very exciting guest secret for you to see later on - so look forward to that. For now though, enjoy!

The day I tried...

This is my missed secret for Monday, I hope you like it. I created this AI by using an image from a magazine, silver letter stickers, some black paper and a white marker pen. Enjoy!

The day I caught up with blogging...

Sorry for being a rubbish blogger the last couple of days - sometimes when things get on top of my I just shut off and I think that is what happened. I created this (Sunday) AI by using some circular objects to print various coloured circles onto orange paper. I will post my secret for yesterday in a few minutes. Enjoy!

The day I shopped...

I had such a busy Sunday I still haven't had a chance to upload my secret. Here is my chosen postsecret from yesterday - go and check them out at: http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/. This secret really speaks to me right now - stuck in a library with little chance of leaving anytime soon. So when I was having this feeling yesterday I decided to go shopping to make myself feel better - four new dresses later I felt a little bit guilty. Anyway, have as fun a Monday as you can (oh and I promise to post my secrets soon). Enjoy!

The day I posted my 200th secret...

I had a very exciting post planned for today which seems to have fallen apart a little bit. I planned to collect the secrets of other people for my 200th secret post but unfortunately with everyone being so far away and it being the middle of term I haven't been able to collect very many. This means that I am still looking for people to make secrets for me but I will post them as and when I receive them - so keep sending them to me if you haven't already, and thank you to those who already have.

It seems forever ago that I started blogging (back in June of last year). It has become such an integral part of my life now that I don't even think about it most of the time. When something horrible, upsetting, exciting, wonderful, scary happens in my life my instant reaction now is to make a secret and to blog about it. I often wonder how interesting it is for other people to read and worry that there is something deeply self-involved about AI and each post I create. It is the people who come back time and time again to read my blog that keep this feeling away. I am really grateful to all the wonderful people who allow time each day to read my nonsensical ramblings and look at each secret I create. It is the reaction from friends and fellow bloggers that encourages me to continue with this project and will hopefully encourage me to reveal the most painful secrets of all.

So to celebrate reaching the milestone of 200 secrets I am going to show you one of the guest secrets I received as part of this:

This was created by Jake from http://javaknees.blogspot.com/ who creates wonderful illustrations. I really love this secret - it feels painfully honest to me and personally it is something I can really relate to. How do you feel about this guest secret?

Thank you to everyone who has been following this project - it means a great deal to me to read your comments each day. Have a wonderful weekend and here is to the next 100. Enjoy!

The day I felt like going home...

I feel pretty miserable at the moment - work stress, constant illness and just general fatigue are taking it out of me. I really wish I could go home and just get away from everything. I have booked tickets for next weekend so hopefully that will pull me through the coming week. This secret was created by using some lovely gold letter stickers and various pens. I hope you have a fantastic weekend - and look forward to my special 200th secret post tomorrow. Enjoy!

The day I saw TP...

Afternoon all. This is my secret for Thursday - I hope you like this one. It was created by using a purple marker pen, a white gel pen and a black fineliner. It is weird how each secret can remind me so much of exactly what I was doing when I was making it. This secret was made while watching 'An Education' - a new film about a young girl who wants to go to Oxford and gets caught up in an affair with an older man. I was hoping to watch it and spot loads of shots of Oxford, unfortunately the majority of it is filmed in the suburbs of London - there is a quick view of my college Hertford though, which was very exciting. Tonight I am going to see a new production of 'Medea' which has been translated by one of my (very eccentric) tutors. He doesn't teach me anymore which is rather sad but it will be nice to see what he has been doing with his time off. Have a nice day, enjoy!

The day I got better...

This is my secret for Wednesday - I hope you like it. I am still feeling pretty ill, off to buy some olbas oil and de-congestant tomorrow...bleurgh. I created this secret by using some more of the lovely wrapping paper I saved from presents from my Grandfather. I also used some copper coloured glue and sparkly gold letters. Work work work -arghhhhh. Enjoy!

The day I wished for yesterday...

This is my secret for Tuesday. I can't believe Monday has gone so quickly and with so little progress. This week might actually be more stressful than I thought - caused completely by my lack of motivation. I cut various images from a magazine to create this secret - I love finding different colours to combine. I really need some sleep now, enjoy!

The day it snowed a little bit more...

Here is my secret for Monday. I feel so exhausted, the weekend should really be a time to catch up on lost sleep but I don't always manage to do that. I need to get some work done today so I can have an early night tonight - I say that but it never happens. This AI was created by using some coloured paper onto which I drew some white lines and then covered these with some green glue. I have really been in creative overdrive recently which I am sure will become a creative drought again at some point. I have now made my 200th secret which will be part of a special post on Saturday. This means if you want to send me a guest secret then you need to get it to me for Thursday/Friday - I would really love to see what you can create. Enjoy!